Photograph
by Jade Unicorn
Summary: Sequel to Thunder Rolls Lizzie is an adult now. With 2 children. When tragedy strikes their family she is forced to face feelings that she's held back for years.
1. Home Coming Unwelcoming

Author: Jade Unicorn

Email: Home Coming Unwelcoming a Lizzie McGuire fic part of the "Photograph" series

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Disney does. Only the story is mine.

I swore I'd always remember the colors of those houses on Charles Street. At the time I thought I would. After all those countless times I spent twice a day going down that street, on the way to school and on the way home, I thought things would always be the same.

Looking over to my right I could see that she was fast asleep. Her body was crunched up in a position that looked uncomfortable to me now at my age. But I know that as a child I slept the same way. Things are different when you're little, everything is simpler then. You're not so worried about paying bills and making sure the kids have enough to eat or if Saturn really is going to come reposes the car if I don't make the payment on time this month. No, when I was Sandi's age, my only concern was making sure that my slumber parties went on without a hitch.

In my rearview mirror I could see Collin staring out the window lost in thought.

"Are you ok son?" I asked gingerly.

He never moved his head but his only reply was, "Yes." It was almost a mere whisper lost in the busy sounds of the highway. I suppose had I not been staring at him I might not have heard him say it. But even that one word betrayed his true emotions.

He looked just like his father did when I first met him. Imagining David's scruffy hair and his small stature make me smile for an instant, before the tears came. As the light turned red and the car slowed to a still I ducked my head to avoid crying. I couldn't cry in front of the kids, not when they needed me the most.

"No…." Sandi whispered as she began to shift positions in her seat. Watching her intently I waited to see if she was going to wake up from her bad dream.

All of us had been plagued by bad dreams since….then. God, even trying to fathom the words was painful. It didn't make sense. But isn't that what everyone always says in situations like this? It didn't make sense and it wasn't supposed to happen. He loved me and his children. So why if someone is filled with so much love…just why?

The light turned green and in an instant I felt like I had to wash away all this sadness. Turning down the block that I played on as a kid I could see Matthew's car parked in the driveway. People were standing in the yard as if they were waiting for the moment that I pulled up. They were waiting to see the exact second that I fell apart so they could comfort me. Did they not think that I was strong enough to make it through this?

A small sigh escaped my lips as I turned the engine off and mentally prepared myself for this moment of truth. Even in this blue Saturn car with the windows rolled up I still felt like it wasn't real. So long as I was still in this car I wouldn't have to accept my fate. I could keep on denying it. But what's in store for me if I open up this door and let reality escape inside?

They didn't give me the chance to find out for myself. Matthew opened the door and stood there momentarily as if he half expected me to yell at him like I did when we were kids. "Hey sis." He spoke. His voice was so much older now. I tilted my head sideways up towards him to give my baby brother a look into my sullen eyes. Matthew wasn't the same anymore; he had grown taller and more muscular and even began to grow a goatee.

Reaching down I pulled the latch to open up the trunk of the car. Matt walked around to the back and began taking out our luggage. He handed the bags to my father who simply gave me a brief smile and walked off into the house. I turned away from him and placed my hand gently on Sandi's leg. "Honey wake up. We're at Granny Jo's house." She began to wipe sleep from her eyes and unbuckle herself. Collin seemed to emerge from his lost state inside the mind and climbed out of the car.

"How are you doing?" Matt asked as he closed my trunk.

I shrugged. Placing my hand on Collin's back and we began walking towards the house. Taking a single step back, I watched as the kids opened the door and went into the house. "I just lost my husband and my kids are so far from reality that it scares me. Couldn't get much worse." I couldn't help but be cynical about things.

Matt stood silently beside me as we looked at the house we grew up in. As kids we thought that house stood so tall. The back yard that we played in was huge and it seemed to take almost hours to just cross from one side to the other. Now I could take a few steps and be on the sidewalk.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and said, "Miranda is waiting inside for you."

My heart plummeted further down into my stomach. Somehow I didn't think that she would be here waiting on me. How long had it been? Almost fifteen years since we last really spoke. David called her every holiday and after Collin was born. But when Sandi came he just sent a letter with some pictures. Even though I was always curious about how she was doing I never had the heart to ask.

"Could you just give me a minute?" I asked of my brother quietly. He simply nodded and walked into the house.

Standing there I could see us as teenagers leaving this same house holding hands and confessing our love to each other. I could still remember how my heart would jump every time Miranda kissed me. Then I could see how I slammed the door in her face the night I found out she was cheating on me. In my mind the images of her walking away slowly, sobbing into her hands flashed by.

I never had forgotten how I felt about her. Never let go of all those things that we had bought together as a couple. The day I married David, I had secretly wished it was her standing in front of me.

Don't get me wrong, I loved David. We found a love that I thought I could never find with anyone besides Miranda. He loved me so deeply that he would have done anything for me and most of the time he did. David accepted the fact that I still thought about her and that I still loved her. Even though he acted the way he did when he first found out all those years ago, he still remained fairly close with Miranda.

I resented him for it. Our marriage was rocky and every time there was a slight tension between us he would always bring up Miranda. David was always throwing her in my face constantly. So it was easy to keep her pushed out of my life. It made my marriage with David so much easier.

Taking in a deep breath I slowly opened the door to face the past. My mother rushed towards me and flung her arms around my neck. "Oh baby." She whispered. Her face was stained with tears as she pulled away to look at me. "I'm sorry."

I nodded. I hadn't planned on coming up with any kind of response to people because I knew that hundreds of people would be constantly apologizing for the next few months. That's what people do when a death occurs. They think it makes things easier to go out of their way to say, "I'm sorry." or, "Honey are you ok?"

Listening to my mother ramble on about the kids and how they've grown and who all has either called or shown up today, I began to scan the crowd for her. Suddenly I felt a hand slid up on my shoulder.

Tensing up slightly and turning around expecting to see Matt I came face to face with the ghost of my past. "Miranda." My voice let out before my mind could catch up with it.

To Be Continued…

-Jade Unicorn


	2. The Rated Unexplanied

Author: Jade Unicorn

Email: The Rated Unexplained a Lizzie McGuire fic part of the "Photograph" series

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Disney does. Only the story is mine.

Note: This series is a continuance of my "Thunder Rolls" series. That explains why Lizzie and Miranda had a past relationship.

It wouldn't matter how many times a year that David called me to give me updates or how many bottles of strong liquor I could withstand in one sitting, or even how many times I had drug that knife across my skin, I'd never forget the pain of losing Lizzie or let go of the memories of our relationship together. So in order to overlook that part of me just to survive I made sure that there was never a moment of total silence in my life. I would have gone completely insane if there had been. Keeping my life in constant chaos is what, remarkably enough, held it together. That kept me from having more than a passing thought of Lizzie and how she was lying beside David at night and not me.

It took me a long time to make myself get out of bed this morning. Hours of debating on whether or not my being there would be a comforting thing or just worsen the situation. Looking over to the nightstand I could see the picture that David had sent me from last summer. Liz, as he now called her, had Sandi in her hands helping her stand. Collin was balancing a soccer ball on his knee in the background. Her bright, warm smile was shining from beneath the frame. Sometimes I couldn't help but wish that it was my family. That Liz and I had never parted. Or more precisely that I had never cheated on her with that dumb ditz ex-cheerleader. No, I wasn't bitter about it.

The initial welcoming into the McGuire home was better than I expected. After all these years I guess the McGuire's had forgiven me for what I had done to their daughter. Which surprised me since Liz never spoke to me again after that day.

I can still remember standing on her doorstep in the cool breeze trying to explain to her that I went to one stupid party and had too much to drink and didn't think enough when Kate made her move on me. Jim Beam hung heavily on my breath and Liz would wince every time she could smell it. Tears were suspended in beautiful eyes. If I close my eyes I can still feel the wind from when she slammed the door in my face and the sound rung loudly in my head.

"Miranda." His voice was stern and showed little emotion.

"Hi Matthew."

He nodded his head half-heartedly and handed me a drink. My head hung down staring into the liquid hoping that there wouldn't be any bitterness towards me today. Today was Liz and the kids' day. "I just got it." He stated.

"Huh?" My eyebrows wrinkled in confusion as I looked up at him.

Matt pointed to the drink, "I just now got it from the fridge. I haven't drunk out of it. But if you don't believe me I'll go get you another one."

My face softened as a small smile managed to escape me. "Oh, I wasn't even thinking about the drink really. I was kind of lost in thought."

"If you're planning on leaving before she gets here you better go ahead and get going. She's almost here." He crossed his arms on his and stared at me, trying to study my reaction to that statement. "Between you and I…" Matt took a step closer and lowered his voice. "She still loves you."

'She still loves you.' Bounced around in my head. The more I tried to get a grasped on what he said the more lost it and myself became. Shaking my head I took a step backwards feeling as though my knees would give out on me during any second as I said, "No she doesn't. She hasn't loved me since the Kate thing freshman year. Liz has moved on."

"_Liz_ was David's wife. _Liz_ was only a mere shadow of _Lizzie_. And _Lizzie_ is still inside of her. She's just gone a little astray. But _Lizzie_ still loves you."

"Why do you care?"

"Because I love my sister." He turned and walked away to where his own girlfriend was. Watching I saw him turn his head sideways to look at me from the corner of his eye.

My head was swimming and things were moving so fast. For a moment I was sure I was going to pass out. Making my movements quick I got to the stairs and began my climb to the top. Once there I hid myself inside the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

Inside my purse was the secret to calm me down. The one thing that no one knew about my life was right inside. Cold steel pressed firmly in the palm of my right hand I raised my dress to my hip exposing my left thigh. Slowly moving the blade across my thigh only having to apply slight pressure, I made the cuts. The reaction was a few seconds behind but when it started it came heavily. Blood started to trickle down the side of my thigh as a small tear escaped my eyes. Why was I like this? As I looked down I could see the final result.

But the dizziness faded away as my courage also began to build up again. I needed to stay for Liz…Lizzie. For someone damn it. No more running away, time to be an adult and try to salvage my friendship with her again.

Who was I kidding? Definitely not myself. The memories started to attempt to flood back within me of standing there in this familiar spot, doing now what I done then. All those times that Lizzie thought I was taking a shower when I was just letting the hot water run out. But if I went to that point then I would never emerge from this place. So I cleaned myself up, stopping the bleeding, and headed back down stairs.

I could see her standing beside her mother. Every inch of me wanted to move forward but I couldn't seem to make myself. Even though David had sent those pictures, it couldn't prepare me for this moment. Lizzie was so much more beautiful in person. For a moment it took my breath away. Contemplating on whether or not I was going to actually talk to her, I found myself moving forwards anyways.

"Collin has gotten so big since last Christmas." Jo said, with a comforting hand placed on her daughter's shoulder.

I could hear her continue on. My hand slid up her shoulder. Beneath my palm I could feel her muscles tense up. Maybe it was an unwelcome gesture, or maybe I just surprised her. The familiar ache of needing her touch suddenly came back to me. Her skin, even through her black, long sleeve top, was still soft as it was then.

When Lizzie came face to face with me, I slightly pressed my hand deeper into her shoulder in a half attempt to hold myself up. My knees felt weak. My stomach was quaking. But I had to let her know that I was still here. Somewhere hidden inside this scarred flesh was the same Miranda that she once loved.

"Miranda." Lizzie's voice betrayed a slight fear mixed with surprise.

"Liz." Our words were broken sentences lost within our own minds. Try as we might, nothing concrete could escape our lips.

"Miranda, how have you been?" Jo tried to fake a slight concern. In her voice I could hear the past pain pushing through. Hatred still flowed through her veins over my stupidity resulting in Lizzie's heartbreak then.

"Pretty good." I lied through misty eyes.

"Excuse me." Liz tossed her hand up towards me as she walked away towards her kids.

"Why are you here?" Jo's words were tense and low.

"Beats me." I placed one hand on the doorknob while staring at her. She hadn't aged very well since my high school years. Managing a household while keeping a cheating husband in line and putting two children through college had taken its toll on her. The once young vibrate face now was much worn and held a look of discontent with her life. "I came to honor Gordo's memory."

"Now that you have you can leave. We will be leaving the cemetery around 4. You should make the wise decision of waiting until after that to come to his grave."

Anyone could have heard the warning in her voice. So as to not cause any more trouble, I nodded in agreement and gave a last disheartening look towards Liz before opening the door.

The slow torturous walk to my car seemed to take days. All the emotion was welling up inside me but I refused to let a tear fall from my eyes. I wouldn't dare let them know that this was tearing my soul apart. Sliding into the seat I tilted my head back to rest on the seat. Sighing heavily, I blindly stick the key in the ignition.

"Miranda wait!"

-To Be Continued - Jade Unicorn


	3. Imperfection

Author: Jade Unicorn

Email:

Website: .com/jade_unikorn

Title: Imperfection - a Lizzie McGuire fic part of the "Photograph" series

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Disney does. Only the story is mine.

Footsteps were approaching quickly as Miranda looked up through her window. Liz locked eyes with her for just a moment and then fell to her knees overwhelmed with pain. With hands clutched tightly over her beating heart, she called out again. "Please don't go Miranda."

Quickly Miranda jumped from her car to be at Liz's side. She wrapped her arms around the crying woman's body, forgetting the moments before where all she had wanted was to run far away from Liz and this house. Rubbing her palms firmly against Liz's back she whispered, "I'm here now."

"You just left without even trying to talk to me. Without saying anything…is it really that difficult to be around me?" Her sobs came out heavy and with each word broke Miranda's heart a little more.

"Liz…"

"Lizzie…" She stated, slowly lifting her head up to meet with Miranda's eyes. "I never was Liz. That was David's idea of me. Liz never existed but in _his_ eyes."

Miranda nodded to show she understood. "Lizzie…" She began again. "I wanted to talk to you. Yeah it is not that easy. It's been _so many years._" She whispered the last three words out of pain and shame. "The more time that passed by the harder it was to speak up. David told me how angry you were with me. How you didn't want to see me whenever I was in town."

The blonde-haired woman began shaking her head. "No…well, at first I wanted to hate you so much but it never lasted. I tried to leave David at one point. I was so unhappy." Lizzie watched as the shock began to appear on Miranda's face. "David and I talked and instead of leaving I got pregnant. He convinced me that all I needed was another child and then things would be better."

"He was jealous." Miranda whispered the realization.

"He knew that I was still in love with you." She stated so simply that it threw Miranda for a moment. "I have hated myself every single day since we broke up. But I hated you so much for being drunk all the time and the night that Kate kissed you just drove me over the edge."

Miranda tightened her grip on Lizzie hoping that maybe she could wait out the pain. If she held on long enough, this moment would not end but the pain would. This is the moment she had waited for and she was not about to let it go without a fight.

Inside of the house, Jo stared out the kitchen window watching the scene unfold there on her lawn. Anger seared behind her eyes. _I knew that she would come when Elizabeth is at her most vulnerable and try to take advantage of her! How dare that tramp!_ Her thoughts raged on as she quickly shut the curtains.

However, Miranda easily noticed the movement. "Look, why don't we go out for dinner tonight and talk more? You have a lot to do. I want to catch up on what we've missed."

She nodded in agreement, as they both began to stand up. Dusting the grass off her skirt Lizzie spoke quietly, "I hope that you realize that just because I'm going to dinner with you don't mean that things are going to be fixed between us."

Though subconsciously Miranda already knew that, hearing it spoken aloud hurt her deeply. "I know," was all she managed to say. "I'll pick you at 7." She turned to get into her car once again.

Lizzie turned around and said, "No. I will meet you in town. I do not want my mother to know that I am going out to eat with you. I have enough going on. I don't need her bitching on top of it all."

Miranda nodded and cranked up the car. Lizzie stood at the front door watching intently as Miranda slowly backed out and left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Lizzie's POV

They lowered his casket into the ground silently. I turned and buried my head the crook my mother's neck. Tears were unwilling to flow freely, though my heart was pounding heavily in my ears. When it was all finished I looked up at my mother and asked, "Will you and Dad watch the kids for a while. I need to get out and clear my head."

"Well of course sweetie. We'll wait and have dinner when you come home."

I hated the way she still called it 'home' when I have not lived there for years. Nevertheless, it was the closest thing to a home that I had now. There was no way that I could go back to our apartment and live with David's memory everywhere. It hurt too much.

"Don't do that." I slid out of her embrace. "Go ahead and eat and probably put the kids to bed for me please. I am going to be gone for a long while. I may not even come back tonight. However, let the kids know that I will be there in the morning by the time they wake up. I just need to be alone right now." I crossed my arms over my chest trying to defend the cool breezes and shivers of pain that was coming by.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her nod and start backing away. "Oh David." I whispered when everyone had left. "I will always love you in some ways. That has never changed. You stood by me even when I stopped whole-heartedly loving you. I stayed because you never stopped loving me. What do I do now David?"

Even though I knew he couldn't answer I waited half hoping he'd walk up behind and wrap his arms around my waist and lay his head upon my shoulder and say, "Follow your heart love." Because I knew that would be his response. David was not the type to tell me what to do. He wanted me to figure it out myself. He would also never tell me what he thought out of fear that I would just do what he wanted.

When I tried to leave him the second time after Sandi was just a few months old, he just simply stated, "Follow your heart love." Nevertheless, I knew he wanted me to stay. He truly loved me. Still as caring as he was about my heart, at the same time he was vindictive enough to do things against Miranda to keep her away. He was also using her as an advantage to make me feel bad enough to stay with him. He would have been ok if I left him for another man, but the fact that my heart reached out for Miranda drove him insane.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Miranda's POV

Taking my time walking down each individual aisle, my mind retraced my past footsteps from the years before. I thought this store was so big back then. It seemed to take longer to get from one side to the other. Aisle 8 is where we spent most of our time though. Three adolescences sitting in a circle on the floor flipping through magazines because it was the cool thing to do then and it made us happy. For years, that was our thing. Until high school when David and I went our separate ways. He remained close with Lizzie then.

Turning the corner I seen an all too familiar face that made me really wish I would have stayed in my own town. She raised her head inquiringly from her piece of paper. The slow smile crept upon her face as she began to form ideas about me. "Hello." Simply stated enough yet meant so much more than just that.

"Katherine." Long ago, she had outgrown being called 'Kate' by anyone. To her 'Kate' was a childish name from a time when she herself was just a child. "It's been nice seeing you again." My concern was not with idle chitchat. As I was in an attempt to turn around and head in the other direction, she asked:

"Did you go to the funeral?"

My heart sank. I was not ready to discuss seeing Lizzie and David's kids. Or how I was watching from afar, as they lowered my once best friend down into the ground knowing that my last conversation with him was about how he wished I would get some therapy. Katherine Sanders was something I was not ready for all together. Yet my voice betrayed my mind as the sound resonated in my ears, "Yes, did you?"

She nodded. "I went to the McGuire's home and spoke with Liz this morning." There was a pause as if she expected me to have something to say about it. A sigh escaped her lips along with the words of "I'm sorry for back then Miranda."

Shock covered my face, which was noticed by her. Katherine proceeded to apologize about the night that ruined Lizzie's relationship and mine. Treading easily upon the broken glass that once was my heart she spoke quietly. An unjust anger grew steadily inside of me. How dare she stand there with sullen eyes and claim that she did everything out of a love for me. One that she was too scared to admit she had.


End file.
